In the strange event these friends might identify themselves in this post, everything I write comes from a place of love, bizarre love but love nonetheless! And now I’m also not saying I blame my parents for letting these friendships happen, but if we’re being honest, they allowed these kids into my life.

The klepto friend, hide your phones, hide your clothes, nothing is safe when she is around. I was friends with the kid that took things and wasn’t exactly very good at hiding the fact.

As a kid, you must remember those books with the rather naughty covers that our grandmothers and aunts read, which later on you will know as Mills & Boon books. But I had a friend with an ENTIRE bookshelf of these books. Appropriate??

You know that moss that usually grows around the pool? Well I had a friend that believed that is exactly where colonies of fairies live. And the natural way to respond? Pretend you believe in fairies just so you will have a friend to play with.

Then there was the “birds and the bees” friend, who thought it a good plan to bring a book to school and explicitly explain where babies come from, including pictures. Still one of my best friends.

The Lebanese friend, which was confusing for me because  the only reason I was friends with her was because I felt bad that people were judging her for being a lesbian. Apparently not.

The friend that never bathed. We all knew it, we all smelled it, but somehow he was still at every birthday party sharing the same pool as me. And then they wonder why I have a germ problem.

The weird dad friend. The friend really was great, but whenever I wanted to visit her, the whispers between my mom and dad were rather obvious and they usually resulted in, “Don’t you want friend to come visit instead.

“There is something about childhood friends that you truly can’t replace!”

All things considered, I turned out pretty great! And not surprisingly I’m still friends with most of these people… except the smelly one.


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