I’m 21, living alone, a working girl and well basically living the dream!

Juuuust kidding, in every good dream I’ve ever had, I’ve never had to clean a shower. No one tells you this while you’re growing up and there is no class for this in school, life is just like SURPRISE! Microwaves don’t clean themselves!

Never did I think I’d blog about cleaning but this is a real thing that never goes away, because I really never thought twice about it. Here’s a few facts that I’ve learned living alone and  cleaning my own mess up alone.

I shed. Everywhere. Having long hair is basically just a way for spies to keep track of my location through tracking of my DNA  that I happen to leave everywhere. Ever had to clean a shower drain that has collected all your sheddings? Nasty.

Light switches. The thought process here was basically, “Eeeuw so many people are putting the lights on and off. Germs!” Seriously, think about the amount if hands that touch them.

Dustbins. Now these guys are tricky, you think they are there to discard all your rubbish and once you’ve thrown it away your job is done, but no! The actual bin needs cleaning because you will mess on the lid and don’t even get me started on a hole in the black bag.

Skirting. The art of wearing a skirt? Nope. Just those wooden pieces that line walls, (I honestly don’t know why they are there), that gather more dust than the Sahara desert. Where does this dust even come from??

Toilets are just gross. Apparently there is more to cleaning one than just pouring in the liquid and flushing. Because nothing gives me the heebie jeebies more than having to touch a toilet brush.

Then to really complicate life, you have to keep everything you use to clean the house clean. Like the mop, I wash the floor only to realize my job isn’t done because now the mop is gross. And then there are cloths that you use to wipe stuff, you have to wash those. Dishcloths are the worst, they last a good five minutes here. Then there’s the toilet brush thing again.

And it’s so time consuming. What I’ve decided is to just never clean and give up on having a social life… I lie, I will spend an annoying amount of time cleaning showers, dustbins, fridges, switches, handles, plugs and even cloths because if eating a bat can give you ebola, who knows what a dirty cloth could do to you!

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